Murdering Intention
by Chesiere Cat
Summary: Byakuran, Mukuro, a psychiatrist and…marriage issue? BL, one shot.


**Title:** Murdering Intention

**Pairing:** Byakuran/Mukuro

**Rating:** R (for sexual related mini-conversation aka Byakuran's pervy replies)

**Warning:** BL, utter crack

**Summary:** Byakuran, Mukuro, a psychiatrist and…marriage issue?

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"How long have you been married?"

A bored voice sounds from an old psychiatrist who seems to get too tired of being a family and marriage consultant. He'd have retired earlier if this hadn't been the only job that keeps him and those few gray strands remaining on his almost bald head alive. It's always the same case, no matter what family. And the advice given is so the same so much that he once considered having those people listen to the tape. He'd have much more time for his favorite coffee with that. Well, whatever, this is the today's last couple.

The question is left hanging in the air for a long while as if it is the most difficult topic. The psychiatrist adjusts his glasses. These two can't even remember the year. And they are still quite young. Looking from how they dress and style their hair like those boy band people, the good old psychiatrist assumes this might be the case of problematic premature marriage which usually ends, sadly, in divorce. The anonymous doctor coughed.

Kids these days.

Black eyes – as small as beads – gaze intently at the husband, urging him to reply. Of course, with profession ethics, the psychiatrist shouldn't stare at the wife…or look at her too long.

The husband sits, lying back in the chair as if this were his home instead of the good doctor's office. He is tall and outstandingly handsome. His white hair, though, gives the doctor the impression of… Well, if this man isn't an albino, he must bath himself in detergent every day just to make the hair match perfectly with his expensive white outfit. Whatever the case, the brightness is really blinding.

What a torture for an old man…

Still, that tattoo under his left eye indicates – at least, the psychiatrist assumes – that he isn't much of a good guy.

Processing everything together, the intelligent brain of the doctor immediately writes 'Casanova' in the case file.

"Question…" The good old doctor coughs again, seeing how his 'patient' uses too much time to answer. "How long have you been married?"

This time, a smile appears on the man's face. Amethyst-colored eyes glance playfully at the other 'patient' before finally replying:

"Actually, we aren't married."

"Well, certainly, this is more of imprisoning."

The 'wife' interrupts, almost immediately. Yet, before the strange use of first-person pronoun can be registered in the psychiatrist's ever-clever brain, the husband suddenly speaks up:

"But I feel as if I've known Mukuro-kun for…169 years." He says, smiling the oh-so-sincere and pheromone filled smile before moving to whisper something in his partner's ear. Something the psychiatrist cannot fully hear but he supposes it isn't worth hearing much as the 'wife' smiles an almost identical smile and whispers something back.

"Why, of course, I know every inch of Mukuro-kun's naked body very well~."

"Kufufu. As if getting naked isn't necessary for sex."

"Ah, but I can do it with clothes still on if you want…"

The good old doctor, again, coughs. Bony hand works on recording every detail he will need on the clipboard. His mouth, however, is still fast to fire question, for he knows by experience that it isn't good – never good – to let the husband and wife exchange things during the diagnosis.

"So…how did you get to know each other?"

Black, beady eyes shift from the hard-to-read handwriting on the paper to look at the 'wife'. Because this time 'she' is to be asked. Still, the psychiatrist knows his manner and decides not to look at her for too long.

Especially, when 'she' is quite pretty and has a body like a 0 size model.

Even if…a lot of things about this 'woman' give the psychiatrist a really…weird impression, for example, the oddest color of hair – even odder than 'her' husband. Must be either from dyeing…or 'her' mother had consumed a lot of blue colored house paint during those months of pregnancy.

And 'her' mismatched eyes… No matter how he looks at them, the psychiatrist cannot find any better explanation than a pair of fashion contacts. 'She' is now looking at 'her' husband with those mismatched eyes, probably giving him hints of things. Not to mention her strange and quite suspicious laugh…

Really, kids these days…

"Kufufu. It isn't a nice story to tell." The 'wife' begins, all the while smiling. "I'd heard of Byakuran's scandalous rumors so I decided to disguise myself and…apply for a job at his company. I immediately got to work as his…well, let's say, secretary. Supposedly, if looks qualified, he'll just have them as close to himself as possible."

The husband still smiles brightly. "Wasn't it because you wanted to seduce me?"

The 'wife', again, smiles back and continues with 'her' story as if not hearing that question. "In the end, he'd learned of my true identity. To make it simple, our…companies are rivals. Kufufu. Just as I've said, Byakuran knew. We got into a fight. I was almost dead from that… Kufufu."

On hearing that, the psychiatrist's eyes widen. He nods and quickly puts in his paper: 'The husband has a tendency toward violent.'

"Just because I love you." This even confirms the doctor's thinking. "All those moans and screams you make when writhing beneath me is…utterly beautiful~ ."

Violet eyes now shine even more brightly and dangerous even though the angelic smile is still present. And his 'wife' immediately catches that.

"What are you thinking, Byakuran-_sama_?"

The man's lips widen. Now, he looks more sadistic and creepy than just angelic. "Asking you to marry me."

"Right now? Kufufu. How romantic."

That is so full of sarcasm – the psychiatrist is sure. And yet before this becomes a war of innuendos, the good old doctor decides to again speak.

"Next question: What do you think is the most important thing in your relationship?"

"Sex." The husband replies, smiling.

"Gaining benefits and useful information." The 'wife' replies, also smiling.

"…" The answers almost send the good doctor reeling with a migraine.

How could relationship such as this work?

"Question for the husband: Any recent impression – and I mean good impression – in your relationship?"

If the doctor has thought he's so bright before, now he's a glowing ball of light – too blinding for the doctor's poor eyes to look at – as NC-17 rated story that can easily give an old man a heart attack comes pouring from his smiling lips.

"…I seriously think we should have a break. Please make yourselves at home here all the while during. I'll be right back." The good old doctor says, clutching at his poor heart. He takes in one, long shuddering breath before stepping out of the room with a pretty impressive calmness suited for his profession. And…

As soon as the door swings close, the 'wife' gazes mischievously at 'her' partner.

"Byakuran-san, it's not nice to try murdering a psychiatrist. Kufufu."

The husband beams and leans closer.

"But he said 'make yourselves at home', didn't he? "

"Hmm, with all the imprisoning and handcuff stuff, I don't think I can call it a home."

"But you love it, don't you? Come on, let's get naked~."

"Kufufu. If the good old doctor dies from heart attack, this'll be only your fault."

And thus, a few minutes later, clothes are strewn everywhere as the professional psychiatrist's beloved office is turned into a love nest…with a murdering intention.

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**Fin**

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